Because I liked a boy

Before, I would be happy to see you. I would always look forward to the day when I would. Just a glimpse of you was enough to make my heart swell with joy. Those were the days. Now, I can’t. Because seeing you hurts. And talking about you hurts even more. You really didn’t do anything to hurt me. It’s just that it hurts seeing you because I know we can never be more than this. As much as I want to be near you I can’t. Not when I’m like this. Not when I miss you and the days when it was so much lighter and brighter. I miss the days when you used to be cheerful around me. When you used to be the one who approaches me first. Now, we avoid each other like some plague. I wish that weren’t so. But I would be lying if I say that your presence does not bother me because it does. I act like I don’t care but I do care a lot. And until I’m okay, I don’t think I can handle looking at you in the eye. I don’t think I can handle giving you a half-hearted smile. And until the day comes when I will be fine without you, until my feelings have subsided and not overwhelm me, I will keep a distance. For my good. For your good. Because I can’t be fake around you. You were one of the best things that has happened to me that I couldn’t have. For you used to make me calm but now you don’t. And I’m only gonna miss you until I don’t.